Teenage Kix

The Lord's work

2006-04-18T21:23:00.000Z

Got drunk the other day and fell asleep. In my dream the Lord spake unto me: "Get thee unto thy blog, O unworthy sinner. For thou hast not posted in nigh on four months and yet sinners come unto thee still and seek balm for the stirrings of the flesh."

"But Lord," I asked. "What links shall I post on my blog?"

And the Lord replied: "I will send unto thee an angel, and slender shall be her hips and her belly trim, her breasts shall be like unto two apples, for know ye this, more than a handful is waste."

"And what of her twat, O Lord?" I dared to enquire. "For the sinners who visit the blog prize pussy more highly than rubies."

"Her twat shall be as smooth as the cheek of a maiden. For I am a jealous God, and hair on a maiden is anathema to me, yea unto the hair around the ringpiece and that part that is called by some the taint."

"And the angel will show me what links to post?"

"The angel shall be thy model and in her likeness shalt thou post other maidens hairless and slender of frame."

"I will do thy bidding, O Lord," I replied, "although I can't promise the girls will be maidens."

And then I awoke and there was the angel the Lord had sent to guide me. And I sought out maidens (well, girls anyway) as the Lord had commanded.

But even now I feel the devil at work in my soul. Who knows how long it will be before I am once again corrupted to his ways and posting buxom babes with big bushes...

Fanny, not feet.

2005-12-18T18:07:00.000Z

If you spend your time searching for snatch on the internet then you've probably seen Gabriela here before masquerading under the improbable name of Piper Fawn and thrusting her (admittedly very attractive) feet at the camera.

Now feet are all well and good, but once I've seen a cute young face and a pair of sizable boobs, what I need to see next is fanny, not feet. Fortunately, when not delighting foot-fetishists everywhere, Gabriela is quite happy to show her minge for the camera. What's more it comes in both hairy and trim varieties so there's something for everyone.

Alice in Wankerland

2005-12-11T00:36:00.000Z

As a change from the full-figured and hairy girls I've posted recently, I thought I'd try a lithe teen with a muff that varies from wispy to non-existent. Meet slender-haunched Russian lovely Alice and enjoy the views of her posed provocatively in the East, alone and with friends.

With her rangy figure and her flexible limbs, Alice always puts me in mind of one of those youthful blonde tennis players who seem to roll off a production line somewhere in the former Soviet Union. Perhaps if fate had been different she would have been waving a racket and flashing her panties at Wimbledon or Roland Garros instead of waving a vibrator and flashing her cooze on the internet.

There's little about Alice that isn't appetisingly petite, be it her firm tight arse, her pert half-handfuls of breast or her neat little snapper. Some girls have fat crinkly fleshy labia like a big greasy doner kebab - tasty but none too refined. Not Alice. Her tidy pink twat is more like a smoked salmon amuse bouche - delicious and oh so classy.

I bet you never thought such a sweet young girl would let you watch her pee like that, eh?

Hippy chick Hannah

2005-12-03T23:11:00.000Z

Curvy child of nature Hannah is a delicious vision of all-natural womanhood. Her pale clear skin suggests a studious indoors type of girl, the kind who regularly has her head dreamily in a book and her fingers equally dreamily down her panties. Her full ripe tits point to incipient earth-motherhood and her furry bush and pits, no doubt richly perfumed with the healthy scent of girl, imply that she's the sort of girl who doesn't give a fuck for convention.

As she turns up (under several different aliases) on a number of different Aussie sites, I had assumed that she was another of that country's improbably large number of gorgeous creatures. In fact, as you can read here, Hannah is from England - a true English rose with a peaches and cream complexion and a pretty pink pooky that surely merits a medal from Her Majesty the Queen. My heart (among other organs) swells with patriotic pride.

It's worth checking out the link above as not only are there a few extra piccies of Hannah, but you can read the thoughts of the girl herself on lezzing it up with a double-ended dildo. Yep, as you shall see, not only is Hannah a sweetheart but she likes the taste of pussy too...

Paloma rides again

2005-11-26T20:01:00.000Z

A few months ago I posted an entry about the scrumptious Czech cutie Paloma and her run in with an unfeasibly large penis. Since then I have thought long and hard, especially hard, about Paloma's gorgeous tits with their natural hang and their enormous pink areolae.

In the end I went seeking out more Paloma pics as that combination of sweet face and curvy body is exactly what I want for unimanual surfing purposes. I enjoyed the search so much I thought I'd share the (full, pink & succulent) fruits of my efforts.

St Peters(fur)burger Svetlana

2005-11-21T03:22:00.000Z

Time for another (moderately) hairy minge, this time the plump and fleshy vadge of Russian cutie Svetlana. This is down-to-earth unpretentious porn - attractive young woman takes off her knickers, opens her legs and spreads her big crinkly labia so the ~~slavering perv~~ discerning viewer can take in how pink and wet she is. No-one's trying to tell you these are erotic nudes or that the photographer is making an artistic statement; Svetlana's just a friendly devushka whose happy to show off her pert tits, firm butt and juicy snapper in exchange for a few roubles. The photographers have made sure that said bits are well-lit, properly framed and in focus. I'm a simple man, I don't need more.

Guess what else. While searching for these galleries I found lots of pics of Svetlana muff-diving, tuna-chomping, finger-banging and generally lezzing it up. I'll post these links soon, so y'all come back now...

Rosanna diverts the blood from my brain!

2005-11-15T20:40:00.000Z

I'll fess up straight away. I may have slightly overdone it on the links today. I wish to plead diminished responsibility as the sight of today's cutie, Rosanna, appears to have left my brain starved of oxygen. The blood's all rushed somewhere more pertinent. Being stupified by Rosanna's beauty I'm going to abandon my usual sarky style and just gush (with prose... what else did you think I meant?).

Nineteen-year-old Rosanna is the ultimate girl-next-door, presuming the girl-next-door managed to combine an oh-so-sweet face with frankly enormous natural tits, a genuinely blonde flurry of pubes, a heart-stoppingly gorgeous cunt of perfect pinkness, and a readiness to experiment with other girls.

Most of these pics come from abbywinters.com. How does Ms. Winters keep finding these incredible girls? Surely every hot 19-year-old in Australia must have already appeared on her site. Rosanna starts off showing some relatively demure pics stripping out of her sportswear, though her awesome breasts and round behind can hardly be called demure. Next she progresses to demonstrating the scientific fact¹ that girls with peaches'n'cream complexions and pink nips are very pink in other places too. Then an interlude of self-shot pics which highlight - among other things - the blonde deliciousness of Rosanna's natural soft girl-fuzz. Then Ms. R. gets to lez it up with Chloe, a girl almost as blonde and even more busty than herself, before we get to see some behind-the-scenes shots of the Rosanna-Chloe encounter. (I was hoping these would show how I too can get to film buxom teenagers eating each other pussies, but I didn't manage to pick up this trade secret!).

BTW, feel free to leave a comment detailing how much blood rushed from your brain, or saying this girl is nothing special (if you are mad), or calling me a limey fag, or whatever. I am so bored of only reading blog spam...

1 - There's no real evidence for it but it is a scientific fact

Sarah Blake - watch the innocence disappear

2005-11-14T00:20:00.000Z

If, like me, you often find yourself trawling the sleazier byways of the net looking for totty then I suspect Sarah Blake needs no introduction. If you're an innocent soul who arrived here by clicking the 'Next Blog' button after enjoying a blog about flower-arranging then an introduction may be found here courtesy of AVN.com.

Sarah's been hotting up the net for a while, fairly innocently under the name Little Troublemaker and less innocently under her own name. There are also some fairly hard bondage pics about which make me wince - so we will move swiftly on. And to look at her you'd think the proverbial butter wouldn't melt.

Tonight's pics run the gamut of styles from very sweet and innocent (if naked) to quite sweet and innocent (providing sticking four fingers up your greased cooze can be described as sweet and innocent). Well, maybe not exactly sweet, but still quite endearing.

Something more wholesome

2005-11-12T00:21:00.000Z

After the sticky nastiness of yesterday's spunk-soaked post I thought it time to take the sleaze level down a notch and offer you something to cleanse your porn palates. Tonight's cutie is another fine upstanding East European girl. Probably only a few weeks ago she was helping to tend the kitchen garden at her babushka's dacha and enjoying the clumsy attentions of Sergei, her first love.

Of course a few weeks in the big city have brought on a few changes. For starters she met a nice photographer who told her he could make her a star if she'd just take her clothes off. All the same, our lovely young model tonight does nothing that you'd feel ashamed to let your maiden aunt show to her convent-educated housekeeper. Apart from the whole business of spreading her bum cheeks and sticking her fingers up her hairless twot of course. But then your maiden aunt might like that.

Cum on Chris!

2005-11-11T00:20:00.000Z

It must have been the best part of ten years ago that I first saw a bukkake photo. I guess it was one of the old-style authentic Japanese pics, probably from Shuttle Japan with the cocks pixellated according to those weird Japanese censorship laws and the girl (or should that be target?) sitting there ultra-passively while numerous otaku dump scrotumful after scrotumful of jizz onto her apparently uninterested face. I was horrified and aroused in equal measures.

Soon after I began to seek these kind of pics out via the wonders of the web, which was still new to non-techies like myself back then. I have no idea why facials of any sort get me off so successfully, let alone why I should have gone through a brief period when I could think of nothing more erotic than seeing a cute Asian girl getting a semen-glaze. To this day, I have an absolute yen (no joke intended) to see jism splash in a girl's hair or on her clothes (and note with irritation that you seldom see this in mainsstream porn - I guess porn producers have only rented the costumes their actresses wear...).

All the same my interest in this stuff wore off after a while. The passivity of the Japanese bukkakettes began to put me off and even when the genre jumped over to the West - where the women tended to give as good as they got - I began to find I could take it or leave it.

All the same, from time to time I like to see a cute and youthful girl getting absolutely plastered in the choad of a gang of men of questionable origins. I prefer it if she looks like she's having fun too. Such a girl is eighteen-year-old Chris from the admirably named Cum On Her Face (which does what it says on the tin!). Chris' face gets eye-reddeningly, splutteringly, hair-slickingly drenched in the emissions of several gangs of men (and few women join in the fun to for a bisexual vibe). I mean, goddamn, you could spoon the stuff off and sell it on Ebay!

The art of deduction

2005-11-08T21:30:00.000Z

You can tell a lot about a person from their photograph. Take today's cutie, Cindy. For instance, I can deduce from her trim form and flexible poses that Cindy likes to dance; from her dark soulful eyes, I would conclude she has warmth and gentleness; from her obvious pleasure in modelling for the camera, I would have to say she is an extrovert who doesn't mind what the world thinks of her.

I also suspect she really likes putting her fingers up her bum, but that's just a hunch - I'm going out on a limb on this one...

Your country needs you!

2005-11-07T01:09:00.000Z

Another anonymous but cute teenager tonight with bags of personality and a tight little body. The first set sees her in what we call pigtails, but what seem to be known as bunches in the US. Whatever is the photographer hinting at here? I guess if nothing else they're something to grab hold of...

The other two sets see our model in what looks like the sort of camouflage gear that the army of Pornotopia might supply. It appears Pornotopian special forces are all equipped with the latest in high tech weaponry - the assault vibrator. Tremble before the armies of Pornotopia!

Yes, but can she write her name in the snow?

2005-11-02T19:16:00.000Z

More thoughts of winter. Our anonymous but feisty model here isn't afraid to bare tits and snatch even on a snowy winter's day. Must be another of these hardy East European gals. Mind you, just getting naked isn't enough, she has to treat us to a a nice (and voluminous) pee. She must have been holding this one in for ages!

Now some people think any material with what German fetishists refer to as natural champagne - if your urine looks like champagne, see a doctor! - is beyond the pale. I disagree. In the realm of porn where girls who have only just graduated from high school (OK, only just failed to graduate from high school!) almost routinely submit themselves to double backdoor penetration from preening musclemen with schlongs like salami, a little solo pissing seems charmingly quaint. The real problem is that whilst winsome teenangels who look like butter wouldn't melt in their mouths are quite happy to test if ball-batter will congeal on their faces, pee sites seem to be the preserve of scary MIWLFs (Moms I wouldn't like to fuck) with hair and clothes straight from an Eighties revival of Rocky Horror. So if I find any halfway decent youthful totty taking a leak - like today's cutie - I'll be sure to post it here.

Clearing the snow the old-fashioned way

Winter warmth

2005-10-31T01:53:00.000Z

I keep reading that this is the warmest October in Britain since records began. I'm not convinced. Its damn cold when I have to get out of bed in the morning and the clocks went back yesterday so I'm going to be returning from work in the dark every day.

As Winter draws in, surely it must be time to light a roaring fire, pour a warming dram of whisky, and snuggle up against a furry muff. Some girls shave for the Summer, but with the coming of Winter and the end to the possibility of beachwear for another year, lots of ladies let themselves go in the bush department. All the better for a fluff-lover such as myself.

Today's model, the sweet and sensual Viktoria, who I'm guessing comes from the East where the winters are long and deep, demonstrates just how warming a good natural bush can be. Despite the chill in the air, she is able to take off her big winter knickers and bounce about with her fine moist twat on display thanks to her full light brown bush (and sexy little armpit tufts). It hurts not a bit that she's picture-pretty - that helps keep me warm.

Sapphic teens show us how...

2005-10-21T19:28:00.000Z

What can I say about this evening's pair of naked nymphs? They're young, their boobs are perky, their snappers are pink and hairless, and their eyes sparkle with tantalising lust. Unfortunately it seems they only have eyes for one another (and a lime green vibe) - no boys allowed!

Sharing their vibrator

Rave on, Ravon!

2005-10-17T19:14:00.000Z

A decade ago when Liv Tyler first strode coltishly into public consciousness, just on the cusp of womanhood and newly of age, I had something of a thing for her ever-so-slightly gawky adolescent charms. Liv made a drooling old perv happy by dropping her kit in Stealing Beauty at the tender age of 18 or so (you must have seen the pics - if not they're here and you really should) but since then she's kept her clothes on, preferring to play elvish princesses and the like, so we've yet to have a chance to see how she's filled out.

I mention this all in passing as today's pics (all 80 of them) come from the lovely Ravon, who reminds me very much of the young Ms Tyler - same elegant serious face, same enticingly dark hair, same slender figure, same fresh nubility. Ravon fortunately doesn't share Liv's shyness...

Fuck it, I can't think of a clever title - just enjoy Petra's pink gash!

2005-10-11T20:35:00.000Z

I spent ages trying to come up with a pun-tastic title for this post and failed miserably. I guess the problem is that Petra is just so damn sexy in such a variety of ways I can't find a clever link. Petra looks good playing the girl-next-door, Petra looks good playing the pouting seductress, Petra even looks good in what appears to be a pair of men's Y-fronts. Oh, and Petra looks damn good having a frig for your viewing pleasure.

These Aussie girls from abbywinters.com have such a surprisingly well-developed sense of fashion - who else would know that the ideal outfit for straddling a train track in the middle of nowhere is a little tartan miniskirt and shiny boots!

Flat and fabulous

2005-10-08T00:01:00.000Z

Ashley, let's be blunt, is never going to be a lingerie model. Why? She has the most negligible tits I have ever seen - or rather (on account of their non-existence) not seen. In fact, if the Guinness Book of records were to add a Smallest breasts on an adult female record, Ashley would be a shoe-in. She'd also be in the running for Smallest amount of areola extending beyond the nipple.

Nonetheless - or maybe exactly because of this - I think Ashley's great. Her cheeky face shouts fun, fun, fun, as does her cheeky vadge - which is surprisingly roomy for such a petite girl as you will see. Whoever said Good things come in small packages might have been talking about Ashley. Although chances are he wasn't.

Clam, mainly bearded

2005-10-04T00:32:00.000Z

For reasons of flavour and variety I like to see the more-than-occasional bearded clam at my porn dining table. To mix the metaphor. By bearded clam, I of course mean furburger or whisker biscuit. I hope that clears up any confusion.

The lovely Ksenia, though unpronounceable, has a pronouncedly furry fanny (though her other bits are smooth, so do not be afraid younger men who've never met an untrimmed one).

Breaking the law (in Texas)

2005-10-03T22:28:00.000Z

So I have these nice big pictures of a cute teenager, kind of pale and skinny which can be fun, and she has this dildo. Frankly, I think she bought the wrong size (did I mention she's petite?), but she's a game girl - or maybe she just lost the receipt and can't return the goods - and does her best to squeeze it on in. It turns out her best is pretty damn good.

Anyway, I'm wondering what kind of copy to accompany the links with and my aim is always to educate while I entertain (kind of like the BBC but with more spread snatches) and it strikes me that I know little about the history of the humble dildo. I turn therefore to Wikipedia, webhome of all useful information (and a lot of trivial crap about Star Trek). What I am amazed to discover is that the sale of dildos is illegal in Texas. What's more, if you own six dildos, that counts as possession with intent to supply. To this I can only say Dildos don't jill people; people jill people.

Anyhow, our anonymous model is clearly keen to compare the artificial penis with the real thing. I think in this test, the dildo wins...

Finger-lickin', flap-splittin', knicker-sniffin', ring-fingerin', tit-totin' Tiffany

2005-10-03T21:59:00.000Z

So September was kind of a washout but I've decided to return and get back to the business of posting links to nice teenagers doing naughty things. First up is Tiffany, all of 18 years old and already a confirmed sniffer of her own knickers. I have the photographic evidence. In fact there are 12 pages of evidence of Tiffany, so innocent that butter would surely not melt in her mouth (let alone any other orifice), doing all the interesting things I mentioned in the title of this post (which took me a hell of a long time to refine, honest).

And if all this business with sticky wet pink bits is a little too much for you, then Tiffany has pretty freckles. Aaaah.

So nice, so naughty!

Sinead, also pretty damn pink

2005-08-16T18:43:00.000Z

Sinead is another sexy readhead; more auburn than ginger, but it's all good. Sinead displays typical redhead qualities: - fair skin, pink nipples and freckles. I'm not sure if all redheads have such lovely quims but I'm hoping to secure research funding to investigate more closely.

Sinead is also a leggy young thing - always a plus - with a tremendous bum. Oh, and perfect tits. In fact, I can't find fault at all!.

Lilly The Pink

2005-08-11T17:13:00.000Z

Lilly hs one of those sweet girl-next-door faces, the kind that reminds you of your friend's younger sister, or your boss's daughter, or the care assistant who cuts up your food (depending on quite how old you are!). You know the kind of innocent and unobtainable eighteen-year-old who is desirable exactly because they're innocent and unobtainable.

Just imagine if everyone of them had such succulent, pink, slightly puffy nipples and such a sweet, pink, juicy fanny. Hell, I bet they do, dammit. All of a sudden unobtainable and innocent seems bloody annoying.

Fanny here, of course, has its British meaning, although as it happens Lilly also has a sweet, pink juicy fanny in the American sense of the word too.

Oil - probably not extra virgin

2005-08-04T19:47:00.000Z

I've previously mentioned my fondness for Brit model Nadia - her of the saucy smile and perfect bum - so I couldn't resist posting a few shots of her enjoying the low-friction delights of a good oiling. Firstly she demonstrates the usefulness of a good-quality lubricant in vaginal-anal-dildonic interfaces. What a fine science teacher she would have made!

She follows up, after a brief getting to know you session, by illustrating how a shared interest in viscosity can be an icebreaker at parties. In this she is helped by plump and buxom fellow Brit, Alicia Rhodes.

Pussy in Boots

2005-07-29T20:25:00.000Z

Bloody hell, where did July go?

While I ponder this, enjoy an olive-skinned young brunette with a variety of footwear, cute nipples and a penchant for popping stationery items in her pussy. I like it, but is it art?

(I do like to see a model in trainers or big fuck-off boots or anything else that's less of a cliché than strappy stilettos...)

Not all redheads are innocent...

2005-07-11T22:17:00.000Z

Clearly redheads are much on my mind at the moment. It's not just the fiery hair I like, it's also the pale skin and candy pink nipples. Of course, not all redheads are as virginal as the model in my last post - not even when they're called Mary like tonight's model.

Hey, do you think the pornographers may have made that name up so she sounds more like an Irish Catholic girl gone bad? Surely not...

Mary is clearly a regular teen though, not an airbrushed fantasy, so she has cute pointy little tits (with those pale pink redhead nipples) and her skin is not quite perfect. So what? As you will see, she is making sure to use a replenishing lotion regularly!

More innocent pleasures

2005-07-07T17:03:00.000Z

I've been a little busy and not posted for a few days, but hopefully things will get back on track now...

In the world of gooey facials, glistening labia and winking lubricated tradesman's entrances that make up modern porn - much as I'm happy to see all these things from time to time - you sometimes can't beat a cute naked girl just standing about and enhancing the landscape. As far as I'm concerned this is even better if she's a slender redhead with freckles.

Why I particularly like tonight's sweetheart I'm not sure. It might be that she reminds me of an adolescent crush of mine, or it might be that she still has her glorious coppery snatch thatch - for some reason ginger models seem to be even keener on depilation than their blonde and brunette sisters. (Trichophobes, relax - her bush is neatly trimmed). Maybe it's just her friendly smile...

Anyway, enjoy!

Down Under

2005-06-26T16:58:00.000Z

Annabel is one of many fine Australian models at abbywinters.com, and indeed one of my favourite Aussie women right up there with Nicole Kidman (also often naked) and Germaine Greer (less often naked, heh heh). She's a petite dark-eyed lovely with little pink nipples and a little pink pussy which you can see close-up in all it's extremely creamy glory. She's also happy to experiment with other girls. What is there not to like?

(Those who were scared by my last selection will be happy to know that Annabel is much smoother!)

Pink on the Porch
Strawberry & Cream 1
Strawberry & Cream 2
Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)
Briefly in Blue
Scissor Sisters
Finger Dippin' Good 1
Finger Dippin' Good 2
A Girl, A Bed, A Vibrator (Video) - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4
Two Girls, Two Tongues, 20 Fingers (Video) - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8

Real girl, no razor

2005-06-22T22:19:00.000Z

I guess I've mentioned before my fondness for girls who don't overdo the depilation. I consider the social pressures on young women to make every surface smooth to be quite daft and probably a consequence of the barbification of porn. There must be a fair few younger men - especially in the US where the shaving cult is strongest - who would be as shocked to encounter a full live bush as the Victorian art critic John Ruskin, who supposedly abandoned his wife when he discovered she had a hairy muff. Of course, he'd been brought up on the smooth pudendae of classical sculptures, today's youngsters would have got their mistaken views from porn vids.

Nonetheless, most women connive in keeping men in the dark about just how furry they are with an array of devices, potions and waxes. Most men have sussed that women generally shave their legs, but it seems to be a mental leap too far for them that this is because a lot of women have naturally hairy legs. Every now and again comes a womean who says take me as I am. One such girl is today's model. For all of you squeamish youngsters, a warning. This model is totally unspoilt by progress. She has an untouched bush, hairy pits, a hairy buttcrack and hairy legs. I think she's fucking gorgeous.

(And for any of you who are getting ready to post negative comments, remember - this is what normal women are really like. It's only the modern world that makes'em all smooth and hairless).

Dirty Blonde

2005-06-16T18:45:00.000Z

Another anonymous cutie tonight. I do wish that more models had names in the world of TGPs, if only to allow me to remember them better than as that petite dirty blonde with the fringe.

In case anyone thinks I only post links to chunky, hairy, or surly young women, be assured that tonight's model is slender, trimmed and has a lovely big smile.

Oh, and busy fingers.

Embonpoint

2005-06-12T22:39:00.000Z

In these days when the makeover show is the main cultural product and robobarbies rule the airwaves, the delights of the full-figured woman have been forgotten. I'm not talking about aerobicised fuckmachines whose fullness of figure is found only in their silicon tits, nor the subculture of so-called BBWs (or the clinically obese, to use a medical term). What I mean is healthy young women who have a little feminine softness, a sexy generosity of flesh that sets them apart from the aerobicised neurotics aho are held up as the height of feminine beauty nowadays.

Don't get me wrong. I appreciate petite tight-bodied teens with bee-sting boobs and gymnast arses, not to mention willowy catwalk-model types, all long limbs and doe-eyes. It's just that a girl with soft curves just looks so much more shaggable, looks so much more like she'd give as good as she gets. Now, isn't that a pleasant thought?

Tonight's anonymous darling is an example of what I mean. Full-breasted (ah to see them in motion) and broad-hipped with a delicious yielding softness to her belly and thighs. Oh, and a cute face which would probably look innocent if she wasn't chewing on so much dick.

Is it fashion or is it porn?

2005-06-06T23:29:00.000Z

For the last few weeks an enormous billboard near where I work - the kind that goes up on the side of a scaffolded building being renovated - has displayed a gigantic still of a slender toned model in a skimpy bikini. It's an advert for H&M clothing stores. All the guys who walk across the square gawp at this vision of loveliness, but I'm not sure if this counts as successful advertising as I've never seen a man buying a bikini.

However, in the absence of anything stronger the image could absolutely serve as stroke material. The model stares langorously, invitingly, at the camera as droplets of pool water glint on her almost naked body. Basically the image says I'm naked and I'm wet - which must be the essence of porn.

I was delighted to discover that the campaign is available as a flash presentation and a video clip at the H&M website - just follow the Take a closer look link. There's also a customisable model that you can 'try on' different bikinis on. I was a little disappointed that the Remove this outfit was not to be taken literally, but even so, I'm still left wondering if this is really a retailer's site or some very arty softcore!

No frills

2005-06-04T17:21:00.000Z

From the former Soviet Union, land of the questionable sofa, comes today's anonymous model, a petite brunette with little boobs, a little bum and little clothing. What I like about these pics is the lack of messing about with exotic lingerie, fancy set-ups, elaborate make-up or anything else that distracts from the natural loveliness of the girl. Sure the photography could be better (and the jpegs bigger!) but just enjoy the non-barbified cuteness.

Closer

2005-05-30T17:55:00.000Z

Renee has a peaches and cream complexion, little boobs and a plump round behind. She looks a little shy and timid but where the camera gets to leaves little room for modesty.

I love really intimate close-ups. Some people maintain it's degrading to focus in on the pink bits, but I just find pussies beautiful. They're as unique as fingerprints and come in a panoply of shapes and colours, but I've seldom seen one I didn't like the look of. Now a whole series of nothing but snatch shots would be a little creepy, but once I've seen a model's beautiful face and beautiful body, I like to see her beautiful cunt too. A woman displaying her vulva is simultaneously vulnerable and powerful - vulnerable because exposed but powerful because men just go weak and pliable when there's a pussy in front of them (OK, I'm extrapolating this from myself!)

Supposedly Renee is still a virgin. You certainly get a chance to observe the physical evidence. Decide for yourselves by clicking here.

Glasses for the masses

2005-05-27T23:39:00.000Z

Resolutely non-barbified is Larisa. Her breasts are natural, her bush is lush and dark, her glasses suggest an element of normal human frailty that robobarbies would never admit to. All this and she evidently likes giving head.

What more need I say?

The barbification of porn

2005-05-27T22:07:00.000Z

I'm slightly annoyed to discover that I didn't invent the term barbification - a quick visit to Google reveals 62 matches for the term. However, most of these refer to a Russian campaign from last year which you can read about here and here so it's clear that the term has yet to catch on widely in the English-speaking world. I'm happy to spread it about a little more.

Barbification is the process by which female beauty (or, if you prefer, female sexual attractiveness) becomes equated to a woman's resemblance to the inexplicably popular Mattel doll. You know, the bleach blonde one with an impossibly tiny waist, impossibly conical breasts and no discernible genitalia. (Etymologists might object to the term because barba is Latin for beard, so barbification might be taken to mean 'developing a beard'. This is, of course, ironic as one of the goals of barbification is the complete removal of body hair. On the other hand, who the hell learns Latin nowadays?).

The rules of barbification are fairly straightforward: -

Blonde-haired women are more attractive than dark-haired women
Big plastic gravity-defying breasts like halved-soccer balls are more attractive than small natural breasts that obey Newton's laws (or, for that matter, large natural breasts that obey Newton's laws).
Women have no hair on their bodies (though a landing strip is allowed to point less intelligent males in the right direction!)
The ideal bust size is twice the ideal waist size
Women's bodies should consist of orange skin over a firm layer of muscle so as to most clearly resemble plastic
Faces should resemble those of a doll. Any personality is to be avoided. (It may cause lines).

Nowhere is this process more obvious than in some porn. For example, I'd refer to the models of Playboy and Penthouse, the stars of Vivid and Wicked, and many others that those who even dip their toes in the world of porn would be able to mention. Obviously somebody is buying this stuff. In fact, there must be quite a lot of people buying this stuff. I now have a theory about this.

Over on his blog Donny's Ramblings (which I've recommended before), photographer Donovan Phillips recently blogged about his most requested model, Aice who is absolutely not barbified. Mass market sites like Karups and ATK make a point of stressing the "amateur" nature of their models (even when they're often professionals). Gonzo-style videos outnumber "features" massively on the AVN Charts, even though it's the barbified contract girl stars of the features who get bit parts in the mainstream and represent porn to the non-porn world.

My theory then is this. The people who are enthusiastic/crazy/obsessed (delete as you see fit) enough to spend a lot on porn, to regularly rent tapes or to subscribe to websites want naked sexy women in all shapes sizes and colours. Occasional users (and teenagers who haven't learnt any better) are the ones who want the barbie girls - the barbification of porn is the result of the spending of those who aren't all that interested in erotica, who are after a few moments release rather than a long and decadent wallow. Jenna Jameson is to porn what Phil Collins is to music.

Goddamn it. Now I've alienated all the Phil Collins fans...

You and whose army

2005-05-22T02:24:00.000Z

Porn models tend to be photographed in a way that makes them seem boringly pliable. They grin, they bend over, they show their pink bits, and then they grin some more in a way that suggests they're open to any and all suggestions. Now fair enough, that's sometimes what you want. After all, in the real world, the business of bedding a woman is fraught with adversity.

On the other hand, sometimes it's good to see a girl who looks like she might present a challenge. Half the fun of the hunt is in the chase (so they say). So tonight's model is a sulky gothette who glares at the camera as if to say Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough. Even when her pristine white knickers come down and she points her tight little behind in the air I can't escape the sense that she's inviting me outside for a punch-up.

I think I'd have to let her win...

Furry fairy

2005-05-17T23:03:00.000Z

Kaycee is a left-of-centre lovely with elfin features, a tight dancer's body and an alternative vibe (by which I mean a punky look, not a new type of sex toy).

I guess Kaycee's razor-free ways may not be to everyone's taste, but to my way of thinking, spread pink labia never look pinker than when emerging from a lush thicket of pubes. Even if a bush unspoilt by progress is not your thing, Kaycee's worth checking out for her AA-cup tits, perky bum and dazzling smile.

When you've gotta go...

2005-05-15T21:43:00.000Z

Molly is a cute amateur with Celtic good looks, a lovely firm but fleshy body, and a bush as naturally curly as the hair on her head.

She looks like just the sort of girl you could take home to meet your mother except for two things. She's naked. And she pees in the shower. A lot. In close-up.

I know I'm a wicked old perve, but I love to see a pretty young woman taking a leak. It's just so intimate and so naughty. Alas, so much of the porn that features this involves scarily raddled old dragons, so let's enjoy the loveliness of Molly, wet and dry.

Slightly less innocence

2005-05-15T21:19:00.000Z

Diana is one of those self-confident young women who always have a cheeky smile and the air that they're up to no good.

In this case the 'no good' involves dropping her knickers and spreading her legs to show off a moist pink pussy and tight little target of a bumhole. It all looks so good that the photographer has to dip in a finger or two.

Innocence

2005-05-14T15:49:00.000Z

Jessica is just delicious. Fresh as a daisy and sweet as new-cut grass, she looks like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. A gymnast's figure with perky little tits and a tight bum just add to the sense of innocent nubility.

How delightful when such appearances are deceptive!

Remembrance of things assed

2005-05-10T22:04:00.000Z

Among the girls who flashed their fannies at me yesterday was a full-figured East European who brightened the dingy delights of Kings Cross's Flying Scotsman with her big round bum and her ability to get her leg right up on the wall so said posterior was almost directly over my head - all this in perspex spike heels that many women couldn't even have walked in.

In her honour, today's model is Russian Lena who also has a big round bum and a sweet round face. If you don't want to associate her with flexible exotic dancers in the sort of pub that seldom makes it on the tourist trail then consider this my belated post for Russia's Victory Day celebrations yesterday.

Spent the day watching strippers

2005-05-10T21:22:00.000Z

Yesterday I took a day out in London mooching from strip-pub to strip-pub and watching young ladies flashing their bits in my face. Unlike the typical 'upmarket' lap-dancing club which are designed to milk tenners from yuppies, old-fashioned London strip venues are aimed at the working man - but not necessarily by compromising on the loveliness of the girls. If anyone's in striking distance of the capital I urge them to check out the Trash City guide to London's traditional strip pubs Undressed to Kill - which is my naked capital Bible.

You can't buck evolution

2005-05-07T20:55:00.000Z

One of the things about teen sites is that they tend to cater for guys who like women with small breasts. (In fact some think it's enough to stick a flat-chested thirty-year-old in a ra-ra skirt and pigtails to qualify to be a porn teen!) Now I like small breasts, always have, always will, but simulataneously I also like big breasts. What matters to me is nubility and naturalness.

Some guys appear to like big breasts only, which is fair enough, but some don't care if these are natural or fake. There is a limit to my tolerance and these guys are by defintion crazy. Sadly, looking around the web there appear to be a lot of crazy men out there.

Obviously biologically speaking breasts are there to suckle infants, but this doesn't explain why women have prominent breasts when other primates are able to feed their young without plump fruity globes. Desmond Morris, zoologist and author of The Naked Ape plausibly explained that when our ape-like ancestors went around on four legs, females' buttocks would swell to indicate they were fertile as happens in chimps and other primates today. If a male chimp sees a big arse, it's wham, bam and thank you ma'am.

Howver, once we began to walk on two legs, the buttocks were less prominent, so mammary glands served as a visual substitute. Females with bigger mammaries were more attractive and so more likely to mate and over time the process of natural selection meant that breasts as we know, love and drool over them today evolved.

There is only one conclusion I can draw from this. Breast men are more evolved than arse men. Sadly, despite my love of tits of all shapes and sizes, I am at heart an arse man and know how those chimps feel when they catch site of a nice round bottom.

Still for all those of you who are more evolved than me, today's model is young, pretty and possessed of a gigantic pair of knockers whose soft fleshiness and fruity pendulousness say that they're all natural.

As you get older the memory goes...

2005-05-05T20:13:00.000Z

This cutie was all over the TGP pages a year or two ago and I'm sure she had a regular nom de porn. Sadly I cannot remember it, so I'll have to present her as anonymous darling with a streamlined body, pink nips, shaven minge and a penchant for little white knickers. Surely that's good enough...

The nicest thing about this model is the way her expressive face manages to convey innocent and slutty at the same time - a fine mix.

If any visitor does recall her name, post a comment please.

Knocking on heaven's backdoor

2005-05-04T21:47:00.000Z

Most hardcore porn today seems to have an obsession with anal penetration that far outstrips its practice in the real world. Even a site called Anal Sex Yes offers statistics suggesting that only around a quarter of young straight Americans have experimented with riding the Hershey Highway (or the Cadbury Canal as I guess we'd need to call it in the UK...), but it's de rigueur in the world of porn.

For myself, I can take or leave the viewing of actual anal penetration, but what I do love to see - mainly on solo models -is proper attention being paid by the photographer to his model's tradesman's entrance. I want to see those little pink rings and I want to see them properly. God alone knows why - I don't recall any traumatic experiences in my happy childhood - but if I don't get a good look at a model's bumhole I tend to feel something's missing from a set.

All this is by way of introduction to some fine large pictures of Blondie here. (No, I've no idea what her real name is, or even her 'real' name). In addition to baby-blue eyes, absolutely adorable puffies, and a neat little snatch, she has the most delicious tight pink anus and a photographer who recognises it for the delight it is and gives it lots of attention. Enjoy it's rosy goodness whether you just like looking or you fantasise about trying it for size.

Specs appeal

2005-05-02T19:26:00.000Z

According to Dorothy Parker, men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses. To which I say, what the hell did she know? There's nothing like a pair of specs to add an extra dash of interest to an already pretty face. I'm not saying that girls who were glasses are really brighter than those that don't, but in the world of porn, a pair of glasses suggests intelligence and straight-lacedness and thus it's all the more fun when a model drops her knickers and spreads her legs.

Tonight's brown-skinned cutie Adrianna looks every inch the diligent student with her specs, stack of books and white knee socks. When she reveals her AA-cuppers and shaven slot, I'm sure you'll want to mark her essay and give her an A.

Of course, one of the fun things about glasses is that stereotypical movie moment when the mousey secretary takes off her specs and lets down her hair: - My God, Miss Jones, but you're beautiful!. So for comparison there's a second look at Adrianna with her hair down, her glasses off and her legs wide open.

Bushy and beautiful

2005-05-01T14:05:00.000Z

Josie is an absolute sweetie, a fact she emphasises by drizzling herself in chocolate like a particularly high-carb dessert. With her apple tits, candy-pink lips and nips, and - best of all - a big helping of hair pie, Josie is probably full of calories, but good for you all the same.

More real bad girl copy from me here - I miss the old days of porn when people used to earn a living writing this stuff!

Virgin on the unbelievable

2005-04-30T20:47:00.000Z

Yesterday's Sun newspaper here in the UK led with the revelation - if revelation it is - that überpoppet Katie Holmes is still virgo intacta.

Now Katie, who has reached the ripe old age of 26 (though in my cheerily warped mind's eye she's a lot younger having played a teenager in guilty wankfest Dawson's Creek), has been a favourite of mine since I saw her playing a drunk college girl whom Tobey Maguire ~~regrettably~~ avoids taking advantage of in The Ice Storm. She has such a sweetly sulky baby-faced look and of course magnificent tits as she demonstrated in The Gift and which can be examined from all angles at Robb's Celebrity OOps! page.

Part of me is therefore glad that with her upcoming female lead in Batman Begins and her prestigious gig bearding for the Cruiser (so helpful to the careers of Nicole and Penelope), she looks set to become an A-list celeb. On the other hand, part of me regrets this, as I want another look at those boobs and I think that's more likely to come if she's stuck in B movies. Either way, call me twisted, but the suggestion - imnprobable as it is - that she's still a virgin adds massively to her nubility factor. Perhaps her publicist thinks so too...

Una Paloma Blanca

2005-04-27T23:41:00.000Z

There are times all you want to see is a sweet teenager; a young brunette with smooth white skin, her dark hair arranged in pig-tails that remind you of innocence and simple country living.

And then you think: Still, wouldn't it be nice if she had big tits, big natural tits with a natural pendulousness, the sort of big natural tits that bounce about like crazy when the girl gets jiggy?

And then you say: You know what looks really good on a pair of big white bouncy tits - big pale pink areolae that threaten to take over the whole breast.

By now you like this train of thought a lot, so you say: If this sweet innocent teen with the big white natural pink-nippled tits that bounce when she gets jiggy is going to get jiggy, she might as well jig up and down on a ludicrously big cock.

And that's where Paloma comes in.

Damn, I love the look on her face when she eyeballs that enormous organ!

Experimental East European glove puppet theatre

2005-04-25T23:30:00.000Z

The internet has transformed the way we discover about previously esoteric and hidden knowledge. Now a moments googling can teach us how to cultivate ganja, how to wage jihad with the aid of nerve gas you can make in your own kitchen, how to recognise the signs that your political leadership are reptoids and how to fist a young woman vaginally.

I've never had cause to use any of this esoteric knowledge, but tonight's models, mature, dominant Cameron and young, submissive Judit have clearly been seeking out higher learning in the arts of lesbian love-making. I have nothing more to say except to point out the length of both women's nails and go ouch,

Belated Happy St George's Day

2005-04-24T16:38:00.000Z

Yesterday was, among other things, Shakespeare's Birthday and St George's Day. Such is the nature of English patriotism that I forgot.

Traditional activities to celebrate England's national day include getting drunk, watching football, and starting a fight. Or if you're really patriotic, starting a fight about football whilst drunk. (Patriots, quieten down. I'm joking. If I wanted to be really sarky I'd mention morris dancing).

Our two models today therefore, in belated honour of St George, are dressed in the English football strip (or English soccer uniform for international audiences) and then the Cross of St George flag. Unlike the traditional English football fan, they favour making love to making war. Personally, I can't think of a better use for the English flag than to (briefly) cover the firm tits and shaven fannies of a pair of bicurious teenagers.

OK, a better use might be as the flag of a reconstituted republican English Commonwealth, but that's a comment for another blog.

Always the quiet ones

2005-04-24T01:41:00.000Z

Tabetha looks very sweet and dresses a little conservatively. It's always more fun when the good girls do bad things.

A set of knicker pictures is worth a thousand knicker words

2005-04-21T22:56:00.000Z

Of course, for real girls with real knickers, one can rely on Abby Winters where regular model Jamie shows off the contents of her underwear drawer. Like most women, she has some flowery, frilly wisps of cloth for when a gentleman is likely to see her undies, and some comfortable, wash-greyed, saggy, pussy-stained big knickers for when gentlemen aren't on the cards. Jamie, however, is kind enough to share both with us.

But then we may not be gentlemen...

More thoughts on knickers

2005-04-21T22:43:00.000Z

I don't know about you, but in my time I've fondled, fiddled with, sniffed at, nuzzled, eyeballed, whacked off into and worn more than a few pairs of girls knickers. (That's panties to the rest of the world). Hell, sometimes the garments' owners even knew I was doing it, heh heh.

Now, part of the fun of all this is the way that knickers retain a certain smell of female - apologies to The Cramps - and to do this they have to have got some wear. A freshly laundered pair just doesn't have the same sensory effect on the old lizard brain. Why then does porn so seldom present us with any evidence of knickers' most vital role - the collection of womanly flavours?

(OK, my priorities may be a little wonky here).

Now and again, we do get a glimpse of some knicker-related fun, Tonight's (sadly anonymous) red-headed cutie shows us her gusset and has an experimental lick. I'm not sure that girls taste their own panties too often in real-life, but I'm prepared to make the usual porn allowances.

Cheerleaders

2005-04-18T21:02:00.000Z

So, cheerleaders. Not something I grew up with, I must confess. British school sports tend to be played on wind-swept winter playing fields and the only female encouragement might be somebody's mother with half-time oranges. Given that the whole concept is alien to me, how come I so like looking at teenagers in skimpy vests, short skirts and spanky pants? (Spanky pants - that sounds so saucy in British...)

I might be answering my own question, They're nubile, they're fit, they're probably just a little sweaty and when they dance about you get to see their knickers. And it's all done in the name of wholesome youthful sport and commendable school spirit. Slightly grubby lust is always best when it occurs in the middle of something supposedly healthy and pure. Heh heh.

Take American Cheerleader Magazine, for example. Is it just my testosterone-fuelled imagination, or does this site look like the home page of a barely legal porn site? I was reaching for my credit card to subscribe before I came to my senses. Of course, not all cheerleaders are sexy, but might I suggest that Bring It On was not a hit because of its thought-provoking expose of competitive pressures in the teenage peer group.

So anyway, today's pictorial from Brooke demonstrates the risks cheerleaders run if they don't make sure their spanky pants elastic is in working order. For those who don't get the whole uniform thing, you may prefer her (un)dressed more traditionally.

...with the smooth

2005-04-16T22:41:00.000Z

Of course, my fondness for furry fannies doesn't mean I don't appreciate a well-depilated twat from time-to-time. Mia here is a sarky- looking teen whose bush has been eradicated with impressive efficiency. Her streamlined shape makes for a pleasant contrast with Gina. Personally, I could have lived without all the stuffed toys in this shoot, but I guess the photographer knows there's a slightly creepy side to this market...

Oh all right, I just made up the name Mia. Do you honestly believe all the other names are real?

The rough...

2005-04-16T22:39:00.000Z

It seems I am fighting against the tide of history with my love of natural bushes. According to this history of pubic hair removal (wo)man has been depilating since the beginning of recorded time. Apparently shaving of all body hair is de riguer in Islamic culture, but I remain unconvinced. There are a couple of pretty, hijab-wearing Muslims at my place of work. Perhaps I should ask one if she shaves her bush. Or perhaps not.

Anyway, how could anyone not love the appearance, texture, flavour and fragrance of a big hairy muff like the one sported by Gina here. For those of you who remain unconvinced, might I add that Gina is a voluptuous beauty whose big natural breasts have the ideal balance between firmness and pendulousness.

More geek porn

2005-04-13T21:28:00.000Z

Something else struck me about the geek/porn interface, the excellent blog Sexy Fandom with Molly Case, which is the guide to all places where sex and genre fandom interlap, such as vampiric gothette porn and Star Trek cosplay smut.

(Porn and Trek - why did it take the net so long to put these two things together!?).

Croft Original

2005-04-12T23:56:00.000Z

There isn't too much of an interface between the two fine computer geek activities of gaming and porn, but one place these two come together (possibly a bad choice of phrase...) is in Ms. Lara Croft, cyber icon and nerd wank fantasy.

I have to confess to being totally shite at games. I have truly lousy hand-eye co-ordination, possibly the result of excessive masturbation in my teenage years - at least that's what my priest tells me - and I could never get the big-titted bitch to run straight, let alone shoot straight (apologies to Spaced!). However, even I didn't miss the recent news about the new version of Ms. Croft. According to designers Eidos, the new Lara features detailed facial features, reactive eyes and fluid motion - (press blurb here).

This description put me in mind of a porn parody of the T-shirted adventuress - complete with detailed facials, red eyes and lots of fluid in motion - by bukkake-meister Ray Guhn which I saw a few years back. His Lara-look-a-like Tonya may not have the gravity-defying tits possible only with CG-enhancement (or if you cast Angelina Jolie!), but then we'll probably never see the real Lara being gang-banged and showered with the jism of a dozen men. (We may yet see this of Angelina, though. I'm ruling nothing out with her).

By the way, the shoot itself makes sure to avoid any direct reference to Tomb Raider - hell, who wants to be sued? - but we all know what's going on here.

Konban wa, Hikaru-san.

2005-04-11T23:01:00.000Z

The strange thing with Japanese porn - I tend to find - is that the photography is either beautiful or terrible. There's doesn't seem to be any middle ground. Hikaru here is in some rather lovely photos that would still be pretty even if they didn't feature a naked girl.

Of course, they do, and isn't she a cutie.

Damn it, I write really poor girl-copy.

Natasha

2005-04-11T00:38:00.000Z

No theorising tonight, just a cute teenager. Natasha is a tight-bodied Euroteen with looong legs, apple-round tits and a cute little mole on her fanny. There's more of this set here, and several more solo sets here, here and here.

If you fancy a little two-girl action, Natasha can be found with her friend Tanya and there's more of that here. Clearly, both girls liked their first go as they return for more muff tasting and shower-sharing.

Nubility

2005-04-10T02:13:00.000Z

Nubility. Now there's a fine word, literally the quality of being marriageable, by which, let's be honest, we mean fuckable. The theory goes that we are all just vehicles for passing on our genes, therefore men are attracted to women who have just reached sexual ripeness as this increases the chance of fathering healthy offspring. It also decreases the risk that your chosen mate has already been knocked up by someone else and you're going to spend the next two decades slaving to provide for a child carrying another man's genes. Women, on the other hand, are looking for a successful man so that he can provide for the child carrying her genes. This is why women lie about their age but men lie about their salary.

Slightly depressing to realise that the whole of human civilisation is just a device to allow DNA to replicate, but we have fun along the way, especially when enjoying the charms of nubile girls. Teenie porn then becomes a device by which low status bureaucracy drones like myself can enjoy the flesh of the most nubile young women instead of having to put up with the neurotic thirty-something single mothers we attract in the real world. As most of us men are losers and robotised wage slaves, this means youth is a marketable commodity in the porn biz.

Naturally, a lot of porn that professes to involve 18-year-olds features in fact plastic-titted strippers who will never see 25 - or their own feet - again. Some pornographers, you see, think it's enough to symbolise youth by dressing the raddled ecdysiast in a cheerleading outfit or school uniform. They are mistaken. If you think symbolism is all you need in porn, go the whole hog and produce a website full of pictures showing trains going into tunnels!

This is all a round about way of introducing Pippa, who is most definitely genuinely nubile, as signified by her smooth skin and slender tight body. Our pornographer here is using porn symbolism in a good way by decking Pippa out in pure white undies which suggest innocence and virginity. I could of course argue that this is undercut by the fact that I can see Pippa's pointy rosy-nippled tits and almost hairless minky...

If Pippa is your kind of girl, you can see more pictures here and even more here.

Call it what you want

2005-04-09T00:40:00.000Z

My use of the delightful term cocksnot in the last post got me thinking about synonyms for the old primordial ooze - y'know, the stuff that in real life tends to end up in a condom (or a kleenex) but in the wonderful alternative universe of porn gravitates to the human female face like a shoal of salmon swimming upstream to spawn.

Off the top of my head, I get: - semen, sperm, cum, spunk, jism, jizz, choad, nut-juice, ball-juice, ball-batter, baby-batter, fry, goo, essence, man-milk, man-juice, cocksnot, wad, load, slime, muck, smut, fuck-cream, man-yoghurt, gunk and bollock-butter.

In truth, I might have made a few of tbose up!

Today's lovely Alexa may or may not know a lot of words for cum, but she certainly gets a lot of it on her face. If you like that sort of thing, you might want to visit the quiz Man-Milk Or Moo-Milk and see if you can tell cum from cow-juice.

General Erection

2005-04-07T21:14:00.000Z

Well, the election is upon us here in the UK. For the next month, politicians will hawk themselves around the country like aging semi-incontinent whores ready to be anally gangbanged for so much as the sniff of a vote (in marginal constituencies at least...). Of course, when the whole shabby affair is over, it'll be the public that gets fucked in the arse again.

I'm therefore linking to tonight's young lovely Lucylee in honour of the leaders of Britain's three main political parties. The set features a huge dick, a real cunt and a little arsehole (that doesn't get much attention). Quite apt I think. Like the people of Britain, too, Lucylee keeps on smiling while she's fucked senseless and takes a big serving of cocksnot in her pretty face.

I think I may have lost control of my metaphor...

Anyway, more of this set of Lucylee can be found here and here. Enjoy it before they put a tax on it.

And now a comment from the opposition

2005-04-04T21:46:00.000Z

I was raised in the best British traditions of fair play and equal access for all points of view, so to balance out all those big tits (perhaps not literally!) here's the very angular Alla by Hegre. I'm not the greatest fan of his work generally - it often comes across as too cold and abstract, but I couldn't resist this lovely with her sulky pout, tight gymnast's arse and virtual absence of breast. In fact she's so skinny, I feel the need to give her something to eat...

... I see you're ahead of me here ;)

The boy Don good

2005-04-04T20:50:00.000Z

Successful net adult photographer Donovan Phillips whose work I have downloaded from many a TGP (alas, money is tight... and so am I!) has started a blog called Donny's Ramblings where he's got lots to say about photographing naked amateurs and the adult biz in general.

To continue the theme of the day, his last post was The Biggest Titties I've Ever Photographed. Check out the pics here, his model's boobs beat Louise's on size currently, but there are plenty more birthdays coming up, hehheh). Donovan doesn't like big tits, but I guess he knows that others do. My tastes are catholic. And I don't just mean I like nuns.

Oh please, Louise

2005-04-04T20:45:00.000Z

I can tell spring is in the air as my colleague of several years, Louise, has started wearing low-cut tops again. Now Louise has always been a full-figured girl with an impressive bosom and several years at an office job where it's always someone's birthday has added a good few pounds to her figure. The polite word is zaftig and her tits got more than their fair share of the birthday cakes.

Now, Louise sits on a corner desk in an open plan office and so I have to walk past her a lot. And every time I passed her today my eyes were inexorably drawn to the huge canyon of yielding olive cleavage that she had on display. Having caught sight of it before I'd had my morning coffee when my defences were low, it was as though I was transfixed. Throughout the rest of the day, I might have been on the far side of the room, when out of the corner of my eye I would catch a glimpse of those big puppies and all thoughts of hitting my throughput targets and delivering continuous improvement drifted out of my head like so much pointless bureaucratic wank.

Now alas I do not have a picture of twenty-something Louise's mighty norks, though the way she takes pains to display her embonpoint, I wouldn't be surprised if there weren't some out there, so you'll have to make do with some nice pictures of Mya. Mya's not as plump as Louise, but she's almost a decade younger, has a luxurious soft body and hellish big knockers. Fair trade?

Hey good lookin', what you got cookin'?

2005-04-03T22:18:00.000Z

I'm always intrigued by pornshoots set in less obvious places, like this one featuring Sarah clambering about in the kitchen. It may be my warped imagination, but when I see a pretty girl dragging her pink bits about all over a kitchen counter, I start to wonder about issues of flavour contamination...

"Darling, this lasagne has a funny taste."

"Really, dear?"

"Yes, it tastes just like the au pair's minge."

Bra 'n' knickers

2005-04-03T02:25:00.000Z

A lot of porn gets shot with girls in ludicrously complex lace creations or, worse still, bizarre fetishware which, if it hadn't had the arse and tits cut out, would be more suited to cleaning an oil tanker.

Me, I'd much rather see a sweet young thing in day-to-day bra and knickers. Take Anika here. Doesn't her arse look delightful with those innocent pink knickers stretching tautly across her curves? In truth, Anika really doesn't need a bra, but all the same, doesn't she look mignonne in that modest white number?

Oh, and she's wearing a tartan skirt. I suspect I'll come back to tartan at a later date...

Anastasia's secret

2005-04-02T02:05:00.000Z

Doesn't Anastasia look like the perfect polished porno dream? Can't you just imagined her airbrush-effect smoothness?

You can? Bad luck; Anastasia has a secret. Don't fret, this site is not (yet) Teenage Chix with Dix. Anastasia's secret - and net pornheads might not think this to look at her - is the delicious hairiness of her muff. Nice to see one really glamourous girl bucking the trend towards universal depilation.

Anastasia, we salute you. (Or at least, I salute you. I suspect I'm on hiding to nothing with this trichophilic strand).

Sweet and lowdown

2005-04-02T01:08:00.000Z

I'm not the greatest fan of ink, but I do like alternative girls, and I'm prepared to overlook a little tribal coloration when the girl is a delicious as this cutie Quinne.

Maybe it's her smooth pale skin, maybe it's her soft fleshy body and beautiful big breasts, maybe it's her jolie laide face and left-bank looks... whatever it is, enjoy - there are links to another nine sets.

(And yes, I've sussed how to do the picture thing. About time, you might say!).

Thought exercise

2005-04-01T23:54:00.000Z

So, you know how cute Penelope Cruz is. That link is a picture in case you need reminding!

You need your memory jogged more? OK, does this help?

Now imagine how cute her teenage sister would be. Pretty cute, eh?

Now imagine how cute her teenage sister would be if she had really really big all-natural breasts like two soft ripe fruits. A pleasing image, I think.

Don't you think she'd look a lot like Felicity?

Hannah dances

2005-04-01T01:09:00.000Z

"Hey, Hannah honey, you look so cute when you shake your tight little bum in that thong. Why don't you let me video you while you dance?"

"I'm not sure, I mean what if anyone saw...?"

"Don't worry, darling. This is just for me and you."

"Well, if you promise no-one else will ever see...."

Oh, the humanity...

Still, you can join the videographer (and me) on the moral lowground, and watch Hannah dance.

Nadia

2005-03-31T23:35:00.000Z

Absolutely one of my all-time favourites models is Nadia - who also went by the appropriately elfin pseudonym of Pixie and half-a-dozen other names besides. She had a radiant smile that was the dictionary definition of naughty and the most beautiful arse imaginable.

She's now retired from modelling - which is sad for old pervs like me, but shows she was bright enough to get out while the going was good - but various types (even) more obsessive than myself keep her memory alive at the AKA Nadia board and a catalogue site of all her photoshoots and video appearances.

The Sofas of Russia

2005-03-30T21:58:00.000Z

Anyone spending a lot of time (my therapist says way way too much time) trawling through net porn can't help but get acquainted with the interior design habits of post-Soviet Eastern Europe. Over time, I have come to love the bold use of brown as a statement, the insistence on the finest synthetics, and the rigorous refusal to accept such limiting concepts as comfort and good taste.

Here are a few of Eastern Europe's finest sofas. I hope the naked girls disporting themselves on them don't spoil your view of the furniture too much: -

Umber, tan and sienna acrylic three-seater (with teenage lesbians in cute white socks).

Pink psychedelic paisley 'low-rider' (plus pig-tailed poppet with busy fingers).

Green velour 'bench-style' three-seater with matching armchair (and sulky A-cup brunette).

Ikea eat your heart out!

Mess is good

2005-03-30T01:02:00.000Z

Of course, one of the reasons so many girls are going for cueball fannies is the cult of aseptic porn where everything is clean and dry and sterile. Fine conditions for an operating theatre, lousy for a fuck.

Fortunately some girls get the point. Aussie cutie Briana demonstrates that you can combine wanking with eating fruit. Just don't invite her to the church picnic!

Hairy twats

2005-03-30T00:18:00.001Z

I won't beat around the bush - I like hairy twats. Alas, my tastes are no longer fashionable and every day another fine full muff rich in aroma and mystery is shaved off. Today's young women are unleashing an ecological disaster with their depilatories and ladyshaves - today the Amazon, tomorrow the minges of Europe and America!

Many young men today grow up without ever knowing the delights of an untrammelled beaver, so it's in a spirit of education that I present Katja, cute as a particularly cute button, and unspoilt by depilatory "progress".

Why am I here?

2005-03-29T23:34:00.000Z

I'm here to post some links to cute naked (legal) teenage girls and mouth off about what I like in the wonderful world of porn.

This blog is currently on a non-shill basis. By which I mean, I'm no-one's affiliate; if anyone stands to make cash from the links clicked here it's not me; I'm doing this just for, ahem, kicks.

Of course, I reserve the right to start shilling at a later date, but if this happens I'll make it clear. (Big red danger signs or some such...).

Test

2005-03-29T19:32:00.000Z

Testing testing